If you're really bored and ever wondered what your favorite phrase would sound like in R2D2 speak, head on over to here. "Master Wez" sounds like this.

Hows life? Do you serve a purpose or purposely serve? For most of you there is always Sunday. The day of the week that reeks of rest but all you do is catch your breath so you can wade naked into the bloody pool on Monday to watch the knives zigzag between our aching fingers. You countdown to your vacation... T minus your life and counting. If you are like most, you get one week to drag your tongue across the sugar cube and hope you get a taste.

Don't worry. In the end, everything you do, is just everything you've done.

If you don't already know, Internet Explorer sucks! Want proof? If you are using IE, go here and watch your browser crash from a single line of code! Then download a real browser here.

Need a laugh?

Too few to mention but the shortlist goes sumptin like this:

• Ron Paul • Abraham-Hicks • John Lydon • Andrew Weil • David LaChapelle • Laird Hamilton • Pete Burns

I can't seem to think of much good we humans have done for this planet. I wonder if humans are really even mammals? Every mammal on this planet instinctively develops a natural equilibrium with its surroundings. Humans however, move to an area and multiply until every natural resource is consumed. The only way humans can survive is to move to another area. There is another organism on this planet that follows this pattern. Its called a virus! Human beings are a disease, a cancer, a plague. Be the cure!

If you're really bored and ever wondered what you would look like as a Simpson, head on over to here and click on "create your simpsons avatar". I think I came out bitchin'. Still want to waste more time? Head over here to make your own Bart Simpson chalkboard.

Ladyboys come in many flavors. F.Y.I., A ladyboy is an asian version of a shemale. I prefer this type because they are smooth and smaller boned allowing them to look more female than their western sisters. They range from pre-operative (have a cock) to post-operative (have a surgically made vagina). Along this range you will find some that take female hormones and some that have had breast implants. Personally my preference is for the non-hormone, pre-op type.

I haven't always been into ladyboys. In fact I had a 10 year live in relationship with a female but whenever I saw a shemale it always gave me a feeling of excitement. I knew I had to try at least one. Well, ladyboys are like Pringles, you can't have just one. What I discovered was that ladyboys make the perfect sexual companion. Unless they are taking female hormones (mine don't) they are as horny as I am and since they all started as boys they have male feelings about sex. In other words, they don't expect you to stay around to cuddle after you blow your load and they know how to suck a cock! To some it may be a head twister to have sex with a ladyboy but for The Wez, there is no going back.

Recently my pal Santa contacted me and asked if I wouldn't mind helping return some of his mail since he had to layoff some of his elves due to the results of the latest North Poll steroid tests. I hope I wasn't too blunt with the kiddies.

Growing up, I never was fond of the taste of coffee so I never really "used" caffeine. Then came along the energy drink craze and I was hooked. My first can of Monster had me bouncing off the walls (sad to say my body has since built up a tolerance). Because caffeine makes everything from work to masturbation more fun, the energy drink market is booming and there seems to be new products released daily. If you feel the urge, you can try to keep track at www.energyfiend.com

Forget about the Ouija Board and the tea leaves, fortune telling has gone high-tech. Just send some spit and 1,000 clams to Cali and you can find out what you will most likely die from. Well, at least according to your DNA that is. Sadly it can't predict when that runaway bus will mow you down. www.23andme.com

At what point in the history of the Western World did the birth of Christ turn into a day of mandatory gift giving of material goods? Pure shit commercialism at its best. Bah Humbug! I say everyday is for gift giving to those who deserve it and I usually find myself very deserving.